


Grain of Sand

by serein (koshitsu_kamira)



Series: Polaroid Snapshots [6]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crushes, Fluff, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 20:37:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8341894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koshitsu_kamira/pseuds/serein
Summary: Doyoung has the whole university student life experience planned out, except for his crush on Moon Taeil.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [NCTprompts_II](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/NCTprompts_II) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
> Doyoung knows he shouldn't consider dating Taeyong's ex, but Taeil is so easy on the eyes.

Although Doyoung deems Taeyong a close friend who he can potentially count on during rough periods, nowadays he wonders if their camaraderie warrants the application of the bro code; specifically, whether he could ask the older boy’s ex, Taeil out on a date or two without ruining good relationships and harming all parties involved - flopping around in the bed, class notes crumpling under his weight, he sighs, face smushed against a pillow. Considering the upcoming midterm exams, he really should revise lecture material, memorize definitions, write due papers instead of mulling over a situation that hasn’t even occurred yet since Doyoung is somewhat a chicken, albeit he preferred the terms considerate, thoughtful, qualities which stemmed from his introspective nature combined with a perfectionist streak. Anyhow, a flawless appearance is always desirable, notably in a society where personal networks are underlain by various hierarchies, often conflicting interests, Doyoung believes, aware that his justification also serves to ease the doubts having arisen at inconvenient times, vague ideas questioning the exact reasons for holding onto pretenses, hiding beneath masks. Likewise, his rather inconvenient crush on Moon Taeil is a strong contender threatening the neat system guiding his social interactions, behaviour, precipitating an existential crisis Doyoung is  _ not _ ready to handle, furthermore hasn’t foreseen when he first met the elder and established Taeyong has an excellent taste in boyfriends: despite his petite frame, Taeil possesses supple thighs deserving reverent praises; soft features, rosebud lips waiting for kisses. 

Of course, Doyoung is no stranger to attraction, but he generally regards the sentiment as passing fancy, a short-lived impulse he shouldn’t act upon seeing that his studies, fledgeling career must take precedence over infantile whims - after all, university is an excellent place to mingle, build and nurture connections; from this ambitious viewpoint romantic affairs are unnecessary complications in the grand scheme of things. Relationships could wait, unlike twenty page essays or group projects way behind schedule; moreover, nobody should fault Doyoung for choosing sleep over blind dates, tragic parties while he pulls all-nighters every third day and suffers the consequences of caffeine overdose, including constant nausea, random dizziness which last an entire week - introducing alcohol induced sickness to the mix would certainly send him to early grave. Whereas disregarding his objects of adoration would usually cause the infatuation fade, vane into a hazy notion, a single butterfly fluttering, weak, in his stomach, the crush on Taeil has refused to budge, its stubborn tendrils having burrowed so deep that sometimes Doyoung would choke on the feelings having bottled up, shiver uncontrollably, cheeks flushing as the other smiles at him. 

Now, past the grievances and halfway towards acceptance, he gets distracted by technicolor daydreams featuring Taeil: scantily dressed, whispering sweet promises or just holding the younger’s hand, their fingers intertwined - though his rational self keeps interrupting, protesting every so often, irregular outbursts of trepidation, anxiety, daunting _ what if _ s Doyoung smothers in chocolate filled donuts, ice cream sandwiches, spicy instant noodles. Naturally, he wakes up bloated the next day, utterly determined to settle the case because he cannot stand yet another night spent wallowing over absolute nothing, when he could have a boyfriend, Doyoung decides, thus he rehearses speeches, the grand confession in front of the chipped bathroom mirror, and narrowly escapes slipping on the wet floor, tunnel vision having activated. One stubbed toe and a coffee burnt tongue later, with a laptop bag weighing down his shoulders, he deems himself battle ready, except the minute he spots Taeil on campus, takes in windswept tresses, lips curved around a sleepy grin, laughter hiding deep within his gaze, Doyoung freezes, all sensible thoughts evading his mind, apart from the stray notion to greet the older boy, perhaps even initiate a light talk. Gracious, Taeil doesn’t remark on his scatterbrained behaviour, disjointed sentences; chooses to wordlessly steer a flustered Doyoung through the corridors, palm warm above the small of his back, only adding a few comments whenever the conversation stalls, throws in compliments, little admonishments, flat jokes which induce muffled snickers and a pleased blush suffusing the elder’s face. Doyoung has lost count of the classes he arrived late, grin dopey, heartbeat erratic, bliss sparkling in his veins, attention flickering between the lesson and the gentle cadence Taeil’s voice follows, a melody that keeps echoing within his recollection, feet automatically tapping the rhythm under the desk - normally, he would feel a tiny bit embarrassed for such a childish act, but infatuation is unpredictable, he has learnt.

Notwithstanding his staunch refusal toward dating, Doyoung has actually met a fair share of beautiful people who he finds undeniably attractive, enchanting; still their allure, charms have never made him lose sleep, lie awake pondering whether the answer would be “yes” or “no,” construct different scenarios, outcomes, despite mental exhaustion, hours spent cramming. The irrational behaviour and emotional instability are the proof validating the existence of the crush he has tried to deny, curb before acknowledging his efforts would be wasted - exhale long, Doyoung removes his glasses, blinking away the strain from the computer screen, then glances at the nightstand watch to check his progress, concluding a break wouldn’t hurt. The dorm is dead silent, barring the occasional sounds of life: pots clattering down the hall, probably a fellow student preparing a late night snack or brewing coffee, a door slamming close, the force rattling along the concrete wall panels, and a lone dog barking excitedly in the distance, the noise hollow, grim; smothering a yawn, Doyoung climbs onto his legs, wincing as his joints crack sharply. Unearthing his phone which has slid beneath the pillows, he goes through the notifications, dismissing the majority - people begging for lecture notes, promising a crate of beer and soju in exchange;  random pop-up ads - then looks over the reminders about the exam venues tomorrow, confirming each date, before launching the SNS app to find out if Taeil updated.

The elder’s Instagram account is haphazard at best, no scheme or concept applied: Taeil would share pictures taken of his family, the evening sky, coffee shops and friends goofing around; Doyoung’s personal favourites are the candid shots featuring the other boy studying, catnapping on the lounge room couch, arms squeezing the sofa cushion, all the photos that offer a sneak peek into his daily routine. The newest post spotlights a comatose Youngho, face planted into his textbook, the caption below wishing “good luck” to the undergraduates who are braving the midterms tomorrow; smiling fondly, Doyoung taps on the heart icon without thinking, scrolling down afterwards - he is watching compilation video of funny cats, when his phone buzzes, a message flashing across the screen.

[Taeil hyung] [2:18 AM] go to sleep Doyoung-ah >ㅁ<

A giggle escaping his chest, Doyoung stares fixedly at the words until the display goes dark; fumbling, hands shaking, he types and deletes the reply several times, eventually settling with a noncommittal “I’ll do my best;” whine low, he collapses on the mattress, squirming atop the bedspread, struggling to contain the jitters, regulate his quivering breath; eyes shut, he guesses, sleep does sound like a very good idea.

*

Doyoung doesn’t consider heart palpitations a novelty, especially in Taeil’s proximity, except his abnormal health condition right now is the direct result of the energy drink he has consumed an hour ago, hoping a lone protein bar would alleviate the side effects; knees trembling, he exits the classroom, distraitly revisiting the questions having assigned, therefore he fails to notice the older boy standing in his way. As the world around him spins, careens, belatedly, Doyoung realizes that he is currently slumped over Taeil, arms encircling the elder, head resting on his firm shoulder - any decent person would have apologized immediately, but the younger just snuggles closer, burrows deep in the embrace, fatigue clouding his mind, and ignores the curious stares, the little voice inside whispering to move away.

“Are you okay?” Taeil asks, tone worried, otherwise seeming unperturbed by Doyoung’s unusual reaction, “Never been better,” he murmurs, fully meaning the words spoken: cradled near the elder’s body, the sense of belonging, comfort is overwhelming, astounding; throughout the months at university, he hasn’t ever felt such contentment, “I really like you,” he spills, careless. Friends come and go anyway, Doyoung reasons, nuzzling Taeil’s neck contentedly, so why he should make someone else a priority instead of himself -  leaning back to look at the smaller boy, who observes him quietly, gaze affectionate, hopeful, he finally says, “Go out with me, please?” pulse rushing, he attempts maintaining the eyecontact, seeking reassurance there. 

“How about we grab lunch?” Taeil suggests, hazel orbs twinkling mischievously, a matching grin adorning his face, “Not too shabby for a first date, I believe;” ears burning, Doyoung can do nothing other than nod, the motion hasty, unconcerned that he might appear silly or awfully eager - although plans, facades do matter, he reckons, there are also instances, rare moments in life where being vulnerable and allowing yourself to make mistakes are the only right steps one could take.

Taeil is worth the venture off the beaten path, Doyoung figures, a genuine smile blooming across his lips, “Sounds perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> Say hello on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/KoshitsuKamira)~


End file.
